The Green Lantern

Just watched this recently, not the best quality (cough) but for movies sake, hold on to your $9.50. Simply not worth it. Here’s the best way i can go about describing this hour 45 flop: Imagine you are a child and everything that you can do with your ridiculous imagination can come true using a magical…ringpop. Now add about 15 years on to your life with all the cool shit we’ve seen like laser guns and the ability to teleport and proximity mines (Goldeneye shoutout). Wouldn’t you be the greatest superhero in the universe INSTANTLY?! Wouldn’t you fuck superman’s shit up if he so much as mentioned the whole “faster than a speeding bullet” thing to you?! But nooooooo, Hollywood found a way of not only making Ryan Reynolds suck a being basically immortal, and did so by dragging out 75 out of 105 minutes of this movie doing basically NOTHING. The Green Lantern doesn’t even get his sex on with Blake Lively who is a horrendous actress but finds a way to get cast in a 9832647 trillion dollar budgeted film. Basically if you can speak and are close to a 9 or 10 as a female, here’s a blank check (Megan Fox Rule).  Either way there are some decent special effects but this one under performed like LeBron in the NBA Finals. Nice goin’ Universal.

Lots of sccraaaw and craaaaw, no follow through. It was as if the writers imagined a shitty movie while wearing a magical do-anything-you-can-think-of ring.

 

ChubbsandShooter rating: 4.8

 

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